i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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