drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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