I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
