Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
