people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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