Please, let me fuck your mom
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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