when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
