My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
