Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I party with great urgency now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
