I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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