Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize