is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
