She is in my trunk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
