I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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