bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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