Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
