I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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