I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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