Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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