is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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