the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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