What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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