I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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