idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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