Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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