from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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