You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone came in the potted fern
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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