Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
