Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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