Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
