I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
