i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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