And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize