That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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