Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
