I showed him my bush... on skype.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize