What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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