Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize