So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
