i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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