My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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