Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
