i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Still dying that you shit outside
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I still have a little drunk in my system
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
