dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
