Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was born a porn star she said
You smell like stripper and shame
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He did a backflip because drugs
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