It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This toilet bowl is my home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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