No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
