and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize