i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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