She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
