I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
