Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
