I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
