Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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