I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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