i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
