I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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