Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
