I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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